


This is where stars are born

by axonsandsynapses



Category: Doctor Who, The X-Files
Genre: Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, complete and utter crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2014-07-12
Packaged: 2018-02-08 13:42:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1943298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/axonsandsynapses/pseuds/axonsandsynapses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Mulder, I told you, nothing good would come of-"</p><p>"Scully, this police box turns up everywhere! There are photos of it appearing since, well, photography was invented! There are even ancient historical records that hint at its existence! What did you want me to do when it turned up on that street corner? It's an incredible opportunity-"</p><p>"Mulder, we were supposed to be investigating a kidnapping! Time is limited, we can't be running around chasing mythical blue boxes-"</p><p>"But Scully, LOOK at this! Look at it! It's a ship! A ship in disguise! I don't know HOW it's bigger on the inside, but-"</p><p>The door to the not-really-police-box opened and shut with a soft creak.</p><p>In the throes of their bickering, Mulder and Scully didn't notice the puzzled man in a tweed suit standing in the doorway. The man eyed the FBI partners. He didn't want to interrupt their argument- they seemed to be enjoying it. </p><p>"Well, Old Girl," he whispered to the TARDIS, "What have you found this time?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is where stars are born

**Author's Note:**

> A short piece I wrote awhile back for a prompt for an application (to my college's sci fi and fantasy interest house; it was a very... unique application), and am posting now, since someone asked about Doctor Who/X-Files crossovers.

"Mulder, I told you, nothing good would come of-"

"Scully, this police box turns up everywhere! There are photos of it appearing since, well, photography was invented! There are even ancient historical records that hint at its existence! What did you want me to do when it turned up on that street corner? It's an incredible opportunity-"

"Mulder, we were supposed to be investigating a kidnapping! Time is limited, we can't be running around chasing mythical blue boxes-"

"But Scully, LOOK at this! Look at it! It's a ship! A ship in disguise! I don't know HOW it's bigger on the inside, but-"

The door to the not-really-police-box opened and shut with a soft creak.

In the throes of their bickering, Mulder and Scully didn't notice the puzzled man in a tweed suit standing in the doorway. The man eyed the FBI partners. He didn't want to interrupt their argument- they seemed to be enjoying it. 

"Well, Old Girl," he whispered to the TARDIS, "What have you found this time?"

Finally noticing the odd man by the door, Scully abruptly stopped yelling. Mulder, startled by his partner's silence, spun in the direction of Scully's stare.

The Doctor cleared his throat. "Hello! I'm the Doctor! Terrific to meet you! Who are you and what are you doing here?"

~~~

"So let me get this straight," Scully said archly, "You are a 900-year-old alien who just so happens to look perfectly human, with a British accent no less, and this contraption, disguised to look like a 1960s police box despite the fact it is 1995, is bigger on the inside AND a spaceship."

"It travels through time, too!" the Doctor replied indignantly. "And the chameleon circuit's stuck! Never got around to fixing it... it's surprising how few people notice an out of place police box, though. Most just walk on by..." He beamed at Mulder, whose eyes were darting around the TARDIS like a 5-year-old who had just stumbled into an unsupervised candy store. 

Scully shot Mulder a Look™. The Doctor wasn't positive, but he suspected the glare contained some sort of complex message. Alas, the TARDIS couldn't translate non-linguistic communication. 

Indeed, Scully's face was, at the moment, trying to inform Mulder "I know what you're thinking, and for the love of God do I have to babysit you EVERY WAKING MOMENT." Unfortunately for Scully, Mulder was oblivious, as usual. 

"So this 'TARDIS' is a spaceship-time-machine." Scully said flatly. "How, exactly, have you managed that?

"Well, you see, people assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly, timey-wimey stuff..."

This time, Scully's glare fell on the Doctor, who got the distinct impression it conveyed something like "Listen, Mister, I wrote my thesis on Einstein's Twin Paradox, don't you condescend to me-"

Scully and the Doctor fell into an intense discussion about the physics of time travel. Mulder waited until Scully looked fully occupied to wander off and start exploring.

~~~

Mulder's reverie while examining the TARDIS controls was broken when he heard the Doctor proclaim "You know what, why don't I just show you!" Mulder scurried away from the control module as the Doctor strode towards it. "Where to? Past, future, near far- you know, the Medusa Cascade is going to be particularly gorgeous in a few hundred years..."

Without further ado, the Doctor yanked a lever that sent a shudder through the control room, and created a sound that Scully could only describe as a worn-out car stalling, repeatedly, in an echo chamber.

The Doctor threw open the door. "The Fifteenth Broken Moon of the Medusa Cascade. Year twenty thousand, seven hundred, sixty-three, AD. Beautiful view, even more beautiful company."

Mulder and Scully gaped at the iridescent bipedal creatures that milled past them, then up at a sky filled with the multicolored clouds of a nebula. 

"Step outside, it's fine- the atmosphere is fairly close to earth's, nothing toxic as far as I can tell. Do watch the gravity, though, it's a fair bit lighter here."

Mulder took a hesitant step onto the moon's surface, slightly surprised that the craft he stepped out of still resembled a 1960s police box. He grinned, and then he laughed, skipping in the lighter gravity. "Scully, this is where stars are born!" he shouted. "Look at this place! This planet, these creatures- aliens, Scully!"

"You're the alien to them," the Doctor replied. "And they haven't traveled to earth, not yet. The locals are friendly to tourists, though- ask them anything you want, the TARDIS matrix will translate for you..."

Scully stood on the rocky surface of the moon, still gazing up at the sky. "This is where stars are born," the romantic at the back of her mind repeated. Her head reeled. There was probably some explanation for this. Illusions, hallucinogens. But at the same time, the Doctor's technical explanation of the TARDIS workings sounded surprisingly plausible. She stared at the iridescent figures. The joints were different, they were utterly alien, but she could see how evolution may have resulted in the selection of some of their features, especially given the low light and lighter gravity... damnit, she wanted to believe.

Scully kneeled and scooped some of the rocky gravel of the surface into an evidence bag. She would have it analyzed when she got back, if she got back. For now, she had to catch up with Mulder before he got himself in irrevocable trouble with the local population.

~~~

Scully plopped herself down in front of Mulder's desk. "Well, I had my doubts, but the lab results came back, and those rocks are definitely extraterrestrial." 

Scully shook her head. It was so implausible, how this Doctor character whisked them a galaxy away, and returned them to DC mere minutes after they had found the police box. But it could be explained. Perhaps not with current scientific knowledge, but that is the beauty of science- it's always expanding, to adapt to new data, new discoveries... 

Scully realized that she hadn't caught Mulder's question to her. "Sorry?"

"I was saying, Scully, I'm headed out for lunch. You want anything?"

Scully shook her head. "I'm fine, thanks."

As Mulder walked out the door, Scully gazed at a number she'd scrawled on her notepad in the midst of her research. She hesitated, then picked up the phone to dial.

"Hello, Torchwood Cardiff? This is Agent Dana Scully, of the American Federal Bureau of Investigation..."


End file.
